Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
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