If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
