I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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