Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
