Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
