how can u be prego again
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
