I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
