Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
