I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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