He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
