You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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