That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
soo... how was my night?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
