Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
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I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
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Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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