Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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