Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
