Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
bring money and cleavage
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize