Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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