I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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