True but thats because hes a fetus.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
