the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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