I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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