Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
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i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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