just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
