Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
