im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
