I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
