we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
