then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
