he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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