the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
