i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
