I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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