i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
