i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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