a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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