Dual....:-)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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