And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize