I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Randomize
