I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
