He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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