After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize