I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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