I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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