Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I didn't shave. On purpose
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize