we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
