Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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