So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Will exercising make me less horny?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
