I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
