Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
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I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
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I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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