We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.