On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
