return my video game
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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