All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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