After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
