You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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