The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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