Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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