Will you blow on my dice?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
