Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  He has that thing where they hang SUPER low

  (650): View more from California

  Ewww!! Elephantitis

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  (313): He has that thing where they hang SUPER low (650): Ewww!! Elephantitis http://tfl.nu/rmok
  Replies (7) Good night (705) Bad night (1256)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.

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  (215): She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz" (267): So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning. (215): Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again. http://tfl.nu/rcrj
  Replies (28) Good night (609) Bad night (3110)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.

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  (770): Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much. http://tfl.nu/renf
  Replies (23) Good night (714) Bad night (4368)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  guess who has a date tonight

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed

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  (207): guess who has a date tonight (401): look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed http://tfl.nu/0667
  Replies (25) Good night (7046) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.

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  (502): one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why. http://tfl.nu/9zaj
  Replies (12) Good night (5126) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad

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  (214): I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad http://tfl.nu/x185
  Replies (15) Good night (1097) Bad night (4106)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.

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  (609): He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this. http://tfl.nu/kn9g
  Replies (23) Good night (1059) Bad night (4157)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.

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  (646): when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed. http://tfl.nu/4c6n
  Replies (5) Good night (2908) Bad night (1293)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.

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  (916): Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much. http://tfl.nu/45kg
  Replies (3) Good night (896) Bad night (2029)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.

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  (206): Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it. http://tfl.nu/rqou
  Replies (9) Good night (1233) Bad night (2972)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave

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  (763): Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave http://tfl.nu/o1tg
  Replies (3) Good night (2739) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese

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  (215): she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese http://tfl.nu/9mra
  Replies (6) Good night (756) Bad night (1724)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.

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  (386): I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal. http://tfl.nu/nrun
  Replies (2) Good night (1762) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.

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  (541): I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed. http://tfl.nu/aml6
  Replies (14) Good night (643) Bad night (1395)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.

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  (502): If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it. http://tfl.nu/bxd5
  Replies (0) Good night (353) Bad night (563)

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