Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

What a fucking waste of an outfit

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(415): What a fucking waste of an outfit http://tfl.nu/q0u1

Replies (8) Good night (483) Bad night (1164)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.

(918): View more from Oklahoma

He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."

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(918): Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now. (918): He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced." http://tfl.nu/be28

Replies (15) Good night (2294) Bad night (812)
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(772): View more from Florida

i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"

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(772): i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?" http://tfl.nu/6u9j

Replies (20) Good night (879) Bad night (3760)
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(850): View more from Florida

Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?

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(850): Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up? http://tfl.nu/shrn

Replies (71) Good night (580) Bad night (3730)
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(613): View more from Ontario

i told him im from Canada, abortion is free

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(613): i told him im from Canada, abortion is free http://tfl.nu/em2l

Replies (137) Good night (4460) Bad night (1190)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf

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(862): dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf http://tfl.nu/c2bo

Replies (47) Good night (6857) Bad night (719)
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(410): View more from Maryland

If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.

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(410): If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living. http://tfl.nu/sgz4

Replies (9) Good night (3676) Bad night (892)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow

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(202): no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow http://tfl.nu/mex5

Replies (67) Good night (8498) Bad night (2008)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.

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(865): we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss. http://tfl.nu/qrai

Replies (6) Good night (1914) Bad night (807)
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(646): View more from New York

In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.

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(646): In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night. http://tfl.nu/mfpz

Replies (4) Good night (2457) Bad night (950)
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(415): View more from California

So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...

(1-415): View more from California

So no fakes?

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(415): So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail... (1-415): So no fakes? http://tfl.nu/49wz

Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (1440)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched

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(201): All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched http://tfl.nu/r5ws

Replies (11) Good night (2672) Bad night (494)
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(630): View more from Illinois

This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?

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(630): This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite? http://tfl.nu/a887

Replies (3) Good night (619) Bad night (299)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.

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(501): I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT. http://tfl.nu/wa70

Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (298)
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(360): View more from Washington

You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".

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(360): You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes". http://tfl.nu/hqd9

Replies (2) Good night (325) Bad night (408)

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