Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  tell him to stop quoting family guy

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  (412): omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say (1-412): tell him to stop quoting family guy http://tfl.nu/1hbe
  Replies (18) Good night (1555) Bad night (672)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride

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  (417): I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride http://tfl.nu/qcn3
  Replies (6) Good night (576) Bad night (2614)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.

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  (631): My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list. http://tfl.nu/ispc
  Replies (23) Good night (795) Bad night (2405)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.

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  (585): He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings. http://tfl.nu/entr
  Replies (15) Good night (875) Bad night (2910)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk

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  (757): I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk http://tfl.nu/n8jk
  Replies (19) Good night (6890) Bad night (840)
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  (716): View more from New York

  It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.

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  (716): It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it. http://tfl.nu/m8zx
  Replies (13) Good night (5316) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.

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  (845): You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately. http://tfl.nu/vwdv
  Replies (9) Good night (5646) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?

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  (727): he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal? http://tfl.nu/v8vs
  Replies (8) Good night (3602) Bad night (1216)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.

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  (605): woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder. http://tfl.nu/fadr
  Replies (7) Good night (3370) Bad night (843)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...

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  (727): I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real... http://tfl.nu/t9kl
  Replies (14) Good night (1125) Bad night (4437)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.

  (209): View more from California

  And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.

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  (209): Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012. (209): And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas. http://tfl.nu/yl8f
  Replies (15) Good night (1813) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.

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  (407): There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese. http://tfl.nu/1bs2
  Replies (6) Good night (978) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.

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  (518): I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face. http://tfl.nu/ha5i
  Replies (4) Good night (1011) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.

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  (347): It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow. http://tfl.nu/mzdk
  Replies (9) Good night (1739) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.

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  (618): I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night. http://tfl.nu/847z
  Replies (0) Good night (504) Bad night (306)

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