If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.