Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy

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  (352): I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy http://tfl.nu/uxjr
  Replies (18) Good night (4278) Bad night (751)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?

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  (260): i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really? http://tfl.nu/3wbc
  Replies (22) Good night (797) Bad night (5927)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?

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  (541): you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....? http://tfl.nu/ofi7
  Replies (28) Good night (4845) Bad night (1103)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?

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  (989): I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel? http://tfl.nu/82ko
  Replies (10) Good night (1212) Bad night (3952)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.

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  (813): We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response. http://tfl.nu/3ka8
  Replies (16) Good night (7733) Bad night (1523)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive

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  (317): my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive http://tfl.nu/067t
  Replies (31) Good night (5977) Bad night (1484)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.

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  (404): Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm. http://tfl.nu/cydy
  Replies (12) Good night (6309) Bad night (1187)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.

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  (973): i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun. http://tfl.nu/edf8
  Replies (30) Good night (3638) Bad night (1691)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.

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  (770): She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out. http://tfl.nu/r137
  Replies (11) Good night (1077) Bad night (2693)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.

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  (704): He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that. http://tfl.nu/dgzr
  Replies (6) Good night (1811) Bad night (1274)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far

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  (785): He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far http://tfl.nu/hear
  Replies (8) Good night (844) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days

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  (604): Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days (1-604): Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days http://tfl.nu/vv75
  Replies (2) Good night (819) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE

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  (+49): Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in? (913): DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE http://tfl.nu/84k7
  Replies (3) Good night (1170) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.

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  (416): Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused. http://tfl.nu/e1qy
  Replies (2) Good night (848) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.

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  (843): I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea. http://tfl.nu/jdvw
  Replies (1) Good night (392) Bad night (587)

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