Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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