I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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