Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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