guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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