i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
