please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
