The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
