her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
